You know about the ups and downs in life, right? There’s no real constant because emotions come and go, whether it involves laughter, anger, happiness, and, yes, motivation and positivity.
After feeling down for weeks, the last few days were of me feeling empowered. They were of me taking back my life. Of course a lot of things here and there helped, like “desperate times call for desperate measures,” and the fact that I was reading quite an inspirational book.
But now, I’m sitting here, reflecting on how just yesterday, I was talking to a friend about feeling positive and believing that things will change for the better because that’s all I can do for now. I was saying how there was no point in feeling despair, so I will choose optimism. I felt like something good was going to happen.
But now, I’m sitting here, feeling myself slowly sink back into despair, scouring myself for that bit of optimism and power I felt just the other day. I’m trying to stop the darkness because I know I’m on a sinking ship–and writing this blog post is an attempt to abandon ship. Because doing so reminds myself of the ephemera of such feelings. Just like how that positivity had come and gone, so too can this feeling of uncertainty and anxiety. I can expedite the process by hollering, “Good riddance!” Plus, I know that positivity can come back.
So now I’m sitting here, getting all that off my chest, and willing the positivity to come back because I know something like that I have in me to bring back out. All I can control is how I think after all. I need to discipline myself as to how my mind works. So I can bring positivity back to life. I have to motivate myself because nothing else can motivate me. Inspire, yes, not motivate.
Merely recognizing the fact that I was snowballing down a slope of negativity made me feel like I pumped the brakes and am climbing my way back up. I’m getting that power back.
Writing this blog post definitely helped. I am feeling better already. Good thing I caught myself early on! And it certainly helps to surround the self with positive things, remember, enniya? So what shall I distract myself with next?